


Beautiful Nightmare

by Occasionalcoffeethereturn



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occasionalcoffeethereturn/pseuds/Occasionalcoffeethereturn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's January 2014, and a nightmare leads to a frank conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



He sat, bolt upright in bed, his hands grasping at the sheets beneath him. The sound of his pulse was pounding in his ears and there was a rush of breath expelling from his lungs. He blinked several times struggling against himself to inhale and exhale. He couldn't breathe, he was paralysed to move and he couldn't speak. All he could think was he was going to lose her, he couldn't lose her, he had to do something before it was too late.

He could hear a dull humming, a noise of some sort droning over and over but he had no idea where he was. The room and the shadows and shapes cast by the furniture weren't his. It was hot but he was shivering, his face was wet, his nose streaming. Was this what it felt like to die?

She could see it in his face, sheer blind panic overtaking him and she knew she had to get him to wake up, had to reassure him he was safe. Whatever he was dreaming had turned into one hell of a nightmare.

'David. David. David!'

The voice next to him startled him completely awake and he could see her. She was there, she was next to him, her hand on his forehead, in concern, her thumbs wiping tears off his cheeks, tears he was oblivious to, not even realising they had fallen. He blinked and she hadn't disappeared so he did it again. She was still there. He could feel her, he could smell her, he could see her. She was here.

'I can't lose you. I can't lose you Gillian.'

Her hand sought his from under the tangle of the covers, resting it on top of the duvet and holding onto his fingers tightly.

'It's okay, David it's okay. I'm here.'

He just about managed to nod, his breathing hoarse and rough but finally calming to something near normal. He was in a hotel room, that he was sure of from the neatly fitting black-out curtains on the windows and the outline of a suitcase strewn in the corner. He was with her and they were together, they were in the same bed. So she couldn't have married that other guy.

'Sorry... Just... Just a bad dream.'

He felt her get up and move to the bathroom, retrieving a towel and handing it to him. He wiped the sweat off his face, dried his hair and chest, his fingers trembling as he mopped the heat away from his body. She got back into bed next to him, taking the towel from him, dropping it to the floor before handing him a glass of water from her bedside table.

'It's okay. Just take some deep breaths, try and relax.'

He drained the glass and shakily handed it back to her. She flipped the lamp onto a dim orange glow and turned to face him.

'You want to talk about it? Or do you just want to go back to sleep?'

'I...' 

He looked lost and she pulled him in close to her, his head resting against her breast so she could run her fingers through his damp hair. He wrapped his arm around her waist and felt his heart rate slowing as she stroked his hair. If it wasn't for the fact they were both naked she'd have felt more like a mother comforting her child.

'You were in my dream.'

'I was? It didn't seem like such a good dream.'

She felt him shake his head against her and dropped a kiss on top of his head. He pulled himself away from her, propping up his pillows so he could lean back against them.

'You were wearing a wedding dress... It was your wedding day. It was your wedding day and you'd not told me. I found out and I couldn't get to you. I couldn't get inside the building and I kept... I just kept running. There was nothing I could do, there was no entrance, no way in....'

He stopped, his fingers pinching across the bridge of his nose. She could tell from his voice he was holding back tears and she sat, back against the head of the bed, powerless and paralysed. She feared this wasn't just him telling her about his nightmare and had no idea what was about to unfold.

His voice was a scratchy whisper as he forced himself to speak.

'You were marrying someone else. And there was nothing I could do about it.' 

He lent forward, elbows on his bent knees and she reached a shaky hand over to rub up and down his back, her fingers delicately scratching his hot skin. He leant into her touch and their eyes finally met.

'I'm not though. I'm not marrying anyone else.' 

'I know. But that's not the issue. I'd lost you to someone else and... There was nothing I could do about it.'

'David...'

Her voice was a warning shot, hinting to him as she always did that this conversation was not fit here, not for now. It's what she always did but it wasn't going to work, not this time.

'Gillian what do you want from this?'

Her pregnant pause stretched between them as she she stayed silent, her voice attempting to croak our answer but failing. If he was saying what she thought he was saying he needed to say it first. 

'We see each other every few months... We.... We have a good thing between us. We're happy?'

She nodded, removing her hand from its place on his back and knotted her fingers together.

'We are.'

'I can't pretend this is enough for me anymore.'

'David. What are you saying?'

'Is this really what you want? Just seeing each other every time we're in the same place? Sleeping together... The odd call, or... or... or... text, maybe email?'

He was stuttering over his words as they spilled out his mouth, his voice becoming louder as he said more. He knew what he wanted and he had enough clarity to want to say it.

She looked at him, his eyes wild and firey, spikes of hair poking in every direction. This was mad but it was honest, it was pure. Sometimes people needed something evil to remind them that the good was close in reach.

'No,' she whispered.

'I'm so in love with you, Gillian. And I don't care that it took some stupid dream for me to say it. I love you. And I want to be with you.'

She blinked slowly at him, her hands untangling themselves from one another as she reached up and touched his roughened stubble with the backs of her fingers.

'I love you too.'

'Will you... Fuck. I don't know how to say this.'

Her thumbs roamed over his lips, her body now pressed up against his. 'You're doing fine so far.'

'I just want us to give this a real shot. I want us to be together.'

Her mouth moulded to his, her tongue sweeping inside to kiss him thoroughly as her hands wound their way into his hair, nails scratching his scalp.

'Yes,' she breathed against his mouth. 'Yes.'

He rolled onto his back, sinking down under the bedcovers. He pulled her tightly against his body, her leg between his and her head resting on her spot between his upper chest and shoulder. He leant down to kiss her again, his lips slow brushing over hers. Their hands met, fingers twined together and he felt her shiver as he purposefully rubbed over the third finger of her left hand. It wasn't a question for tonight, but both of them knew it wasn't such a remote possibility anymore.

'Maybe you'll have happier dreams now,' she murmured at him, her voice husky with sleep.

'If you're in them with me they will be.'

'I'll try.'

He heard the even cadence of her breathing and tried to match his to hers, sleep not quite finding him yet.

'Love you, David.'

'Love you too.'


End file.
